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What is the best age to talk to children about sex? This is a question that almost all parents ask themselves at some point and that worries them a lot, some people even wonder if they should have the "talk about sex" or better not talk about it because "that is part of the intimacy of our sons and daughters ”.
To answer this question from "What is the best age to talk to children about sex?"Before we have to clarify what we mean by sex.
From what we see in the media or hear from family and friends, most of the people understand that "sex" is intimate relationships where there is genital stimulation, excitement, usually orgasm and penetration.
If this is our idea of "sex", logically it does not make much sense to talk to our 3-year-old about the subject, the predictable thing would be to do it when we believe that our son or daughter has a partner and / or wants to have sex.
But of course, there is the problem: if we have never talked about sex with our children and they have learned that it is a taboo subject, we may not be the first to find out that they want to have a sexual relationship, hence the doubt and insecurity of many parents.
The ideal is to go from the beginning, that is, since we began to interact with our little ones, paving the way ... What does this mean? It means that before talking about genitalia, orgasm penetration and risk prevention, we have to start talking about bodies, pleasure, respect, caresses ...
Up to the age of 3, children get to know all the parts of their body, as we said in the post "how to talk to children about the intimate parts of their body", it is important in this period that they also learn the names of their genitals, that see that your parents do not ignore you as if it were something forbidden that is not seen, is not named and is not spoken. It is already at these ages that they begin to realize "whether or not you can talk about sexuality with mom and dad."
Between 3 and 6 years all boys and girls, to a greater or lesser extent, are interested in sexuality, both his own and the other's. They can touch your body, stimulate your genitals, and be curious about bodies other than yours.
It is also at this age that they begin to ask certain questions, generally more related to reproduction ("Where do children come from? Where did I come from?"), But they can also ask questions more related to sexual orientation (" why are those two men kissing? ”) or show their curiosity about a sexual relationship and they ask it clearly because they have heard it somewhere (“How do grown-ups make love? Can I make love?).
From the age of 6, your questions will become more complex. Next, I am going to give you some keys to face the possible questions that our children may ask us:
- Answer back: This point seems obvious, but it is generally more important for our child to see that when a question is asked, we answer him than the answer itself. We are generating the idea that "when I have a doubt, of whatever kind, I can count on my father or mother."
- Be clear. If you go around the bush a lot, your son or daughter may leave you talking to yourself. It is not a problem, it means that your curiosity has been resolved.
- To be honest. One question may lead to another and to another, that is why it is important that we show willingness to answer and if we do not know something we can tell them that we do not know, but that we will look for it and when we know we will tell it.
- Stay natural. Try not to laugh at the question, we can make them feel embarrassed.
- Honesty always. It is important to be honest: do not respond with stories or lies.
- Empathize. If we see that the question involves some shame on the part of our son or daughter, it is important to thank them for trusting you.
If we follow these simple keys, it is very likely that we will never have to consider sitting down with our son or daughter to “talk about sex”, since they will be the ones who, when they need it, will come to us.
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