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Sometimes they ask me this question: What mistakes am I making with my teenager? Generally this question comes from mothers and fathers who are concerned about the relationship they have with their children once they have entered adolescence. And the answer, you can go through some of these considerations.
We ask them in the form of questions that you should ask yourself or the way you educate or have educated your children. To know what are you doing wrong with your teenage son, try to answer them honestly and analyze your answer, as it can give you some clues about what you can improve.
1. Do you spend time with your teenager?
First of all, we may not spend time with them. When we were little, we were waiting to take them to the park or to friends' birthdays, we looked for a way to organize fun activities for them, we shared time with other friends, etc. And it seems that an age is coming, in which we believe that it is no longer necessary. Error! Our children, even teenagers, still need us. Find out what plan you can fit into and spend time with him or her.
2. Do you pay attention to what he says and does?
Another question that we forget is to pay attention to it. They have grown up and already believe that they can be self-sufficient, and this is another common mistake that we inadvertently neglect. Remember to pay attention to what they do, what they say, their non-verbal communication, their personal issues, and above all, their behaviors. It's about observing you, rather than controlling you; I am not asking you to control it, but to observe it.
Control is one of the issues that poses the most problems for parents. When our son feels controlled, relationships get complicated. He does not feel comfortable and, it is possible, that he begins to distrust you and the way you behave with him. Please, see if you are at this point and ask for help if you are not able to solve it.
3. Do you tell him what he does well and what he does wrong?
Not giving you feedback on what they do is another common mistake. We believe that he does it well, it is his obligation to do so, and what he does not do so well, we reproach him. Error! Both what they have to do and what not, needs a response from us. We are NOT valuing our son, but the behavior they are carrying out.
4. Do you pour your discomfort on your son?
Sometimes we turn our discomfort, stress, anxiety or anger on our children. We end up paying the stresses of our day to day on them and, as a consequence, we speak to them in a tone that they do not deserve. In addition, we have much less patience ... If you have to say something to them, try to do it calmly, take care of your verbal and non-verbal language and, of course, choose the most suitable time and place to do it.
5. Do you love your teenager?
I know parents who forget to hug their children, kiss them, or tell them how much they love them. Don't take it for granted. Surely you also like to be told how much they love you ... Well, our children also need to know that we are going to love them whatever they do, yes, knowing that what they do has consequences. Show them your affection, whenever you can and in all the ways you can think of: with hugs, being interested in how they feel, leaving a note of affection in the food bag ... There are never too many signs of affection!
6. Do you look at him with the gaze of love?
Finally, look at it with the gaze of love, as only a mother or father can do with their child. You sure know this kind of look; a look where you say, “I trust you; I am for you; Fly! I'm here ”. A look where you convey that you love him for all that he is and can become. That look that we should give our teenage son a little more often, don't you think?
Without further ado, LOVE IT!
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