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Educating a child and not losing patience is the great challenge of many parents. The most normal thing is that we end up screaming and doing things that we swore we would never do. 'I will never spank him. But the day comes when you can't take it anymore and you give it to him ...
Something like this happened to Kelly Holmes, a mother of three. But one day, after yelling at her middle son and seeing how sad he was, she thought that I had to repair that damage. And how did he do it? With five hair ties.
With this fascinating and surprising technique, this mother teaches us the technique of the 5 hair bands so as not to lose patience with children, or to repair damage.
Kelly holmes He tells on his blog (idealistmom.com) how one day, after losing his temper after a hard day at work, he ended up yelling at his four-year-old middle daughter, Bailey, disproportionately, for a little mistake he had had.
The little girl became very sad and she realized that perhaps she should not have treated him with such anger. It happened to her from time to time, and she wasn't happy with the result. What did? He found five hair ties and put them on his wrist. But instead of putting them on the right, he put them on the left. In order for them to return to the right doll, he had to reward his son with 5 happy moments. Five happy moments for having made a mistake. And so he did.
These are the 3 steps to putting this mom's technique into practice to gain patience with children:
1. Find five hair ties and wear them on your wrist (right if you are right-handed and on the left if you are left-handed). You should only wear them when you are with your children. Obviously, you can take them off if you are at work or with friends.
2. If at any time you yell at or verbally or physically assault your child in a disproportionate way, place the five hair ties on the other wrist.
3. You must seek 5 rewards for your son or daughter to mend the mistake you made, For each happy moment you generate in your child, pass one of the hair ties to the original doll. They are happy moments, like singing with your child, dancing with him, playing, hugging him, tickling him ... You can make cookies together, go for a walk, talk and make him laugh ...
This mom decided to put into practice a study that she had read and that she liked. The study, from the Gottman Institute, it was called 'Magic, 5: 1 ratio', I came to explain that For every offense or harm done to a person, it takes 5 acts that cause happiness in the affected person to repair the damage caused. Five things that make you happy for every act that made you cry. In this way, say the people who published the study, the balance is achieved again.
So as not to lose count, Kelly decided to use five hair ties, but they can also be bracelets, safety pins ... whatever you can think of!
Kelly recounts on her blog that she decided to do this one fine day he lost his temper: 'After that day, I promised myself that it would never happen again. I did a lot of research on how to achieve healthy habits, but instead of focusing on eating more vegetables or exercising, I applied a few tricks I found about changing behavior in order to find more happiness as a mother. '
Many parents have tried it and they assure that it works. It helps them to improve the bond with their children, learn to be more patient and above all ... to ask for forgiveness. Something that of course serves as a fantastic example for your children.
You can read more articles similar to The 5 hair ties technique to keep your patience with your children, in the category of On-site Education.