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How many times are parents immersed in an attack of nerves, anger, and lack of control with their children? How many times do you hear yourself repeating the phrases of your own parents that you swore never to repeat? How many times do you wonder why you don't enjoy your children more?
The practice of Mindfulness or mindfulness can be a great help to disconnect from that 'automatic pilot' that causes you to react in an uncontrolled way, and begin to respond consciously. This is what is called the practice of conscious parenting. Knowing where you are educated and why we do what we do. That is why mindful parenting helps to be open, caring, flexible and compassionate parents.
There is no perfect father, yes the responsible father. Mindfulness does not say how to educate. It helps to realize how to educate, and to decide responsibly how to educate. Conscious parenthood does not imply perfection, but it does imply great responsibility on the part of the adult.
Many times at the bottom of many conflicts is the desire, not always recognized, to have a child different from the one you have, one who responds to your own expectations or wishes. And only when you open your eyes and you are able to see the greatness of your child, clearly and clear of your own expectations, can you really love and enjoy that love. In the end, it is accepting, without judgment, that children are what they are, not what you want them to be.
Ideal for introducing yourself into practice by Mindfulness is to do it with a professional who accompanies. While the key is continued practice, it is important, at least initially, a guide to accompany the process.
It usually begins with the breath, which becomes the anchor to the present. When you listen to your own breathing, you are completely in the present. From there, and thanks to different practices, one is becoming more and more aware of where he is, what his physical sensations, his emotions and his thoughts are at all times.
It is eight o'clock at night, and tired or tired of the whole day, one prepares to put the clothes that he has just ironed in his children's closets.
There are several options:
a) Wearing clothes out of inertia, without knowing what to think about, simply like an automaton. It is something that one has very learned and does it without realizing it.
b) Wear your clothes thinking about what happened that day at work.
c) Wear your clothes thinking about how late it is, how tired you are and that you still have to make dinner.
d) Wear the clothes slowly, observing them, being aware of who is the owner of those clothes. Even smiling subtly. Feeling through those clothes that have been lovingly ironed, all the love that one feels for their son or daughter. Smelling the freshly ironed clothes. Slowly opening the drawers, placing it carefully. Being aware of what is being done at that moment, and enjoying it.
This may sound complicated, or even stupid. You might think 'wow! With everything I have to do now on top of putting my clothes away with love! I can't do it. '
It is not as difficult as it sounds, but it is not very easy either. But everyone can do it if they want to. And this is the key: want to do it, or at least try it. The benefits are enormous, and the change in oneself and in those around us almost overwhelming. You just have to try.
As Myla Kabt-Zinn says, every time one chooses kindness over cruelty, understanding over judgment, acceptance over regret, children grow stronger and stronger.
You can read more articles similar to How Parents Can Use Mindfulness, in the category of Being mothers and fathers on site.